Rumfeldisms

I was not paying attention in class today, which is actually nothing new, and was instead reading my friend's Bushisms calendar. And it got me to thinking that Rumsfeld in the past has sounded an awful lot like Bush. Perhaps they are friends because no one else can understand them...

Without further ado, here are some of my favorite Rumsfeldisms.

• "Reports that say that something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns -- the ones we know we don't know."
• "There's another way to phrase that and that is that the absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence. It is basically saying the same thing in a different way. Simply because you do not have evidence that something does exist does not mean that you have evidence that it doesn't exist."
• "I don't know what the facts are but somebody's certainly going to sit down with him and find out what he knows that they may not know, and make sure he knows what they know that he may not know."

If that's not enough Rumsfeld for you. Check out the Rumsfeld doll. It even talks and says things like "What they do with themselves is up to them and what people around them do with them is up to the people around them." Sweet. Enlightenment.

Or if you are of a more intellectual bent, check out The Existential Poetry of Donald H. Rumsfeld. It contains quotes similar to the ones above as well as real "poetry".

Has Tom Cruise Gone Completely Nutters?

The list of reasons to think he may be completely bonkers has been growing, especially as of late.

• Being part of a couple nicknamed 'TomKat'
  Jumping up and down on Oprah's couch because he is so in love with the amazing afore mentioned Kat
• Calling Brooke Shield's use of prescription drugs for postpartum depression "misguided"
• Lecturing "Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt,..." Lauer on how he knew the history of psychiatry
• Buying a sonogram machine (dude if you got $20K just laying around, donate it to charity!)

And apparently now, he has deleted a "racy" sex scene from Katie Holmes new movie. It was more dirty than he felt comfortable with, and he wasn't even there when they were screening it. What's going on? Is he her dad now? God knows he's almost old enough to be...

Is Oprah Full Of Herself?

I don't often watch Oprah, but with all the previews for today's show - Oprah Confronts the Author who Conned Her - I couldn't resist. I wish I could determine what about this annoys me. Is it that the fact that Oprah's "I've been conned" story or "I feel so betrayed/humiliated/hurt" story has been dominating the airwaves instead of other stories like the War in Iraq, Political Corruption, etc.

Oprah's pretension really annoys me sometimes...

PS. When I ran the spell check... it tried to turn Oprah's name into Ovaries. Now that's funny!

Cheating, cheating, cheating

Why are they always cheating down in Ann Arbor?

Remember the Fab Five? They were a bunch of cheater and liars who together with Steve Fischer first brought down the Michigan basketball program.

Then there was last year's football game where Michigan decided that rather than play defense against Stanton they wanted to get him out of the game. No better way to do that than busting his shoulder.

Today, Michigan beat State 72-67 in a game where MSU had 27 fouls to 16. Something is wrong with this picture. Even the announcers said the calls were bad. It wouldn't surprise me if some refs had their hands in UMich's pockets.

Brokeback Bush

Bush is supposed to be the John Wayne President. With his "my way or the highway" attitude, big belt buckles, and cowboy hats that dwarf his head, Bush relishes his role as a rancher clearing brush.



So Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhall wore flannel, but ranchers are ranchers, right?









So then why won't he go see 'Brokeback Mountain'? It's one of the year's most honored films. Does he not like gay people? That does not seem very compassionate. Maybe the movie makes ranchers look less manly. Does it bother him the a same sex couple has been portrayed so movingly on the big screen? Someone should ask him if he has seen 'Capote' or 'Transamerica'. Isn't it strange that as right-wing conservatives dominate America, the most critically praised movies are all about homosexuals (and transsexuals)?

Random Smart-ass student from KSU: You're a rancher. A lot of us here in Kansas are ranchers. I was just wanted to get your opinion on 'Brokeback Mountain,' if you've seen it yet.

Bush: You would love it. You should check it out.

The same awesome KSU student: You would love it. You should check it out.

Bush: grimace. pause. wince. I haven't seen it. I'd be glad to talk about ranching, but I haven't seen the movie.

You gotta love that guy from Kansas State.

Showtime Lakers Or Show-off Kobe

81 points in one night. Even if you are a Kobe hater (like me!), you have to have some respect for that. My respect, however, is grudgingly given. Some how with his 81 points, Kobe is at his worst. He is back to being the ball hog, playing a team sport, but forgetting that he has a team. Kobe is most certainly a star, but he will never be a superstar if he cannot take him team all the way without Shaq. He needs to help the rest of team step up instead of trying to go down in the record books where even after last night Wilt is still king.

Be a Pistons fan. The Bad Boys are back again... well technically they have been back for awhile... and here to stay.

If It Looks Like A Duck And It Quacks Like A Duck

Then it might just be a duck.

Despite President Bush's desire to recast his domestic spying program as a "terrorist surveillance program", the fact remains that it has been used in a rather Nixonian fashion. If the US Government taps the conversations of it's citizens, stores the information, and then mines it, as evidence the administration has not refuted has shown, then what you have is not a tool in the war against terror, but Big Brother. This "terrorist surveillance program" (read: domestic spying program) points to the worst excesses that can occur when one administration consolidates power in the way this administration has.

The administration has even had the nerve to claim that if this system had been in place prior to 2001, the 9/11 terrorist attacks would have been prevented. This is offensive on multiple levels. It is an attempt to once again portray the opponents of the program as unpatriotic and to placate and brainwash their base at the expense of the victims. To date the administration's "terrorist surveillance program" has yielded no arrests of indictments of Al Qaeda members. Rather is has led to eavesdropping on liberal student groups, anti-war protestors, and those with opinions differing from the administration. Clearly, Mr. President, you have a duck. A domestic spy program.

And Then There Were None

Florida is no longer in the ranks of the unbeaten.

How The Mighty Have Fallen

Pitt lost today, but frankly I don't much care about them. I have much bigger fish to fry.

Duke also lost today. This pleases me on multiple levels. Coach K has annoyed me since he started doing all those annoying American Express commercials. (The repeat use of the word of annoyed should help signify the extent of my annoyance.) And he is supposedly a CCC (a "crazy", Christian conservative). And I am so tired of the Duke fans "yukking" it up every year. Plus Georgetown is cool. Big John Thompson used to coach there, and now Little John Thompson does (although he is actually kind of big too) and he used to play and coach at Princeton. Far cooler than Coach K.

All that's left is for Florida and their used car salesman coach to lose today. Why does he have to slick his hair back so much? If he stopped, I wouldn't dislike them quite so much.

The Strategy For Reelection

According to Karl Rove, the Republican strategy for reelection should focus on national security. While that is all fine and good, aside from posturing, has there been any real improvement in national security? The Bush administration continuously points to the fact that there have been no other terror attacks since 2001. But it is unclear if this can be credited to our Intelligence agencies, which we have discovered are not really intelligent, or to the fact that terror organizations were simply busy elsewhere (e.g., Spain and London). In which case all we have succeeded in doing is making the US safer at the expense of our Allies (if they still call themselves that).

Recordings from this week alone, already prove that that Osama bin Laden is still alive. Osama, the mastermind behind 9/11 and, aside from Pearl Harbor, one of the greatest breeches in American security, has alluded the world's only super power for over 5 years now. Bush promised not to rest unless he was captured dead or alive. Yet pictures of him clearing brush from his ranch suggest that Bush has "flip-flopped" on the issue. In his own words, "I don't know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don't care. It's not that important. It's not our priority." - March 2002. Now how can we trust the Republicans with security when their leader makes such statements?

Under the watch of Bush and the Republicans, we seem no closer to breaking down Al Qaeda's extensive terror network. Nor have there been any meaningful convictions of Al Qaeda operatives. Instead, to show progress, the US government has been relegated to shuffling suspects between military and civilian courts, incarcerating individuals with little to know evidence in Guantanamo, and sending suspects in secret to countries known to practice torture. In fact, the attorney general seems closer to indicting members of "terrorist" environmental organizations who cut power lines and start fires than to convicting suspected bombers.

Under the Republican administration, there has been a significant increase in global nuclear capabilities. Aside from their questionable attempts to address the Iraq situation, the outcome of which may lead to even greater problems, the other two members of the axis-of-evil have been left to their own devices. North Korea (e.g., Kim Jong Il) remains aloof to the disapprobation of the world and the suffering of his people. Safe in the knowledge that the US is spread far too then between Iraq and Afghanistan, that China and Russia refuse to lift a finger against them, and that they have nuclear weapons. Likewise, Iran with the assistance of Russia, has been able to develop nuclear capabilities for questionable purposes (either the destruction of Israel or the energy, the true purpose remains a mystery). So do I feel safer? Not really, in fact, the catastrophic scenario described in On the Beach seems far more likely now than it did during the Cold War.

So Mr. Rove, if you want to make the next election on national security, as your fearless leader once said, I say "bring it on". You surely cannot win this election on facts, though I suppose that hasn't stopped you before.

Take That

What was Larry Brown thinking when he left the Pistons last year? Well if he didn't ask himself that question earlier, he certainly had to be asking himself that question tonight. The Pistons to put it quite simply kick ass, while the Knicks on their best days only show glimmers of potential. And without Marbury there's not even that. If the papers are to be believed, Isaiah, the original Bad Boy himself, is hoping to add K.G. to his roster. With Garnett, the Knicks could be contenders. Unfortunately for them, now, as Larry Brown put it, they are just J.V.

It's Alive!

Osama's back. And on the attack. Apparently, he wants a truce. But there's no juice.

I just felt like rhyming. Interesting timing though given the recent US airstrikes in Pakistan, which I am sure have led to a recruiting boon for Al Qaeda.

Bush thinks he's got Osama on the run. But I doubt this suggestion of a truce is significant given that he speaks of new attacks in the making.

Let the War on Terrorism roll on.

When Does Politics Become Too Political?

I wonder if the American political system was always... well, for lack of a better word... so political. Sure Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr dueled to the death, but that was as much about political differences as it was about women, power (which today is politics), and money. While we laugh at the powdered hair of the Founding Fathers, they would likely be hysterics over today's politicians with their caked on make-up, frequent photo-ops, and their very public preening in TV spots and at fundraising events. Politics 200 years ago had to have been about more than hiring the best speech writers and spin.

The nomination of Judge Alito to the Supreme Court captures the extremes of today's political system. Everyone involved from George W to Senators like Ted Kennedy and Lindsay Grahm are guilty of grandstanding and pandering to their base. Joe Biden was the classic example with his ten minute long questions. In the 1800s, the Supreme Court was setting precedent that changed the history of our country with cases like Dred Scott and Plessy vs. Ferguson. Perhaps it is the romance of a bygone era, but I imagine their hearings would make ours look like the WWF Smackdown. And despite the interrogation from both sides the hearings have done nothing to further our (the public's) understanding of the issues of the nominee's stance. If you disagree, think back to David Souter. The conservatives worst nightmare.

While I believe the Republicans can be blamed for the majority of today's enmity. Historically, the Democrats have been just as guilty. Politicians cannot seem to help themselves from aggregating power. For every Tammany Hall and Boss Tweed there has been a Presidency like Grant's rife with scandal (sound familiar?). With all the problems we face, and terrorism is only one of them, playing politics does not help anyone. As the world's greatest nation and only super power, we, as Americans, are at our weakest point. There is no place else to go but down, and without a strong unified government that is exactly where we will end up.

Just to set the record straight, I do not think Grant was bad pre say. But rather, that as a General, he was less prepared for the Office of the President and as such was easy to manipulate. His Cabinet had no qualms about taking advantage of his weaknesses. I withhold judgment on GWB at this time.

Some Great Recent Quotes

• [the house] "has been run like a plantation, and you know what I'm talking about" - Sen. Hilary Clinton, D-NY

• "There's a lot of people that are having heartburn with all the publicity and if they have heartburn I can be the Rolaids" - Rep. Bob Ney, R-OH

Sadly, Ney is no antidote. If only he were. Government spending on prescription drugs would decrease by more than GWB's latest, and not so greatest, plan. The key to reigning in healthcare costs is to turn Ney into Rolaids.

• "It's [New Orleans] a heck of a place to bring your family to." - Pres. George W. Bush, R

This is an oldie, but I have been meaning to get it down for awhile now. Because obviously, the first thing most people think of when they hear New Orleans, Bourbon Street, Mardi Gras, booze, and beer is not 'Girls Gone Wild', but the Disney World Creole style. Come on!

• "I don't do ideology. You're -- look if you think I'm ideological, you're crazy. I'm a watch dog." - Bill O'Reilly

Bill you may think you are not an ideologist. But you are most certainly not a journalist. You are a bully and a former, Inside Edition host, who for some god forsaken reason got handed a mic and an hour of air time. What I fail to understand is how you ever attended the Kennedy School of Government. Harvard's name is forever sullied.

Why I Like George Clooney

Sure he's good looking and sexy and a liberal. But how can you not love a guy who thanks Jack Abramoff after winning a Best Supporting Actor Award? The best was when he said, "Who names their kid Jack, when the last three letters of their name is 'off'". Funny!

How Unhappy is Arlen Specter?

So the Chair of the Senate Judiciary mentioned President Bush's name in the same breath as impeachment? That's pretty unexpected and unbelievable, especially given the fact Alito, who has no respect for executive restraint, received smooth sailing through the judicial nomination process in large part due to Specter. I look forward to the open door hearings that Specter plans to run on wiretapping. Surely if Nixon was forced to resign over Watergate, should not Bush be forced to do the same? For all we know this is an illicit attempt to collect information on political challengers. (We already know it includes anti-war student protestors.) Then again, for all we know this could just be Specter's chemo talking.

Also, quite possible the unhappiest man in the NFL is Mike Vanderjagt, supposedly, the most precise field goal kicker in the country, who missed a field goal that would have sent the Steelers - Colts game into overtime. I guess Peyton needs to wait until next year.

Political Cartoons

I wish I could draw well enough to make these... I have not noticed any similarily in the cartoon to DeLay or Nye. But I like it nonetheless.



This cartoon comes from Slate on-line and is by Ted Rall.

Potpourri

For some reason, my brain has been thinking about too many times at the same time today. Here they are in no particular order...

• Why does Alito take so long to answer questions? Everyone would respect him more if he just copped to being anti-abortion, but said he understood being a justice was not about his personal views. As it is, everyone knows what he is thinking because the man ain't got a poker face.
• Could Alito turn in to David Souter Jr.? That's my dream.
• Was there hanky-panky going on this fall behind "the Chin's" (that's Jennifer Aniston for those of you who can't figure it out) back? The Brangelina baby is due this Summer. If summer equals June, that baby was conceived in October when Brad filed for divorce.
• Beauty and the Geek. Everything about it is just wrong. Ashton Kutcher is producing it. The WB is airing it. And socially-inept, engineering boys and women who apparently have little to wear and dubious intelligence are sharing bedrooms. What good can come of this I ask you? Probably none, but I find it ridiculously amusing.
• Can Bushie be run out of Office? If high school girls can chase out of New Orleans, the possibility should be investigated.
• Can Condi not shut up about Iran? There is a country that hates us and is run by a short, little, egomaniacal man who likes sunglasses, Swedish models, and playing with nuclear weapons. Kim Jung-Il. We should take care of him before we start playing hardball with Iran. As if they would listen to us anyway. I suppose with the new powers the Roberts Court + Alito will give him, Bushie could try to invade Iran, but we may have run out of soldiers. Perhaps the real issue is that Condi and Kim go to Ferragamo together unbeknownst to the rest of us.
• Oh, I wish Alito's wife would "put a cork in it". I mean honestly, the Senator's were not that hard on her husband. And quite frankly it's his own fault for not answering the questions openly and belonging to women-hating clubs like CAP. Besides, Mrs. Alito, how many times have your husband's rulings made other people cry?

The Ten Things I Hate About You

It would have been great if I had saved this for Valentine's Day or something like it. But since Alito will likely be confirmed or denied by then, I'll have to think of something equally ironic for next month.

So in case you are wondering why I hate the Princeton educated, wunderkind, also known as Scalito. Here's why...

1. Member of the he-man woman hater club*. This is a 3-in-1 reason.
   • According to Alito, "the constitution does not protect the right to an abortion"
   • The law requiring women to inform their husbands of their intent to get an abortion does not pose an undue burden. Hello!! This has so many holes in it, it's like Swiss cheese.
   • Although he doesn't believe Roe v. Wade can be overturned unilaterally, he believes (hopes?) that over time it can be limited to such a point that it can be overruled. Sneaky, very sneaky.
2. Member of the Concerned Alumni of Princeton. They were anti-coeducation. If Alito and his CAP friends had their way, I would not have been able to attend Princeton. What a bum!
3. Likes stripping. Let me clarify. He likes/approves of strip-searching little 10 -year old girls. Not cool. I wonder what his stance on pornography is...
4. Not all votes are created equal. The idea of "one person, one vote" is firmly ingrained in American culture. But apparently not in the mind of Judge Alito. He does not believe in reapportionment. Rather he wants to drag us back to a place where special interests control the government. Hmmm... is that not what is happening now? We really do not need a justice who turns a blind eye to graft. And we certainly do not need a justice who would validate the creation of system that makes one man's vote worth more than another's.
5. And let there be immunity for all politicians who violate the constitutional rights of their constituents. According to Alito, Big Brother should not be punished for unwarranted wiretapping. Rather they should be awarded "absolute immunity". One might be able to swallow such a ruling if it had been against suspected criminals but this ruling was against peace activists. Apparently, flower power can hurt. And, in Alito's day, it is clear that Orwell was not required reading.
6. Checks and balances without the checks and balances. The federal system of checks and balances is one of the first things taught in History and Government classes. Not to be repetitive, but did Alito miss this class too? Stomping on Congressional authority and creating a lame duck court is not what the Founding Fathers had in mind, but I am sure it is what Bush&Co. had in mind. (Personally I am still trying to understand if Alito is a member of the Michigan militia: (1) ruled against machine gun ban, (2) wants to curtail Congressional power, but then he also wants an executive branch on steroids... go figure. Maybe it just means he wants Arnold to run for president).
7. Smell the smog. Alito grew up in New Jersey, and, hence, perhaps understandably doesn't have the greatest appreciation for fresh air. However, that does not give him cause to allow companies to violate the Clean Air Act. Given his known lack of respect for Congressional authority and his history of rulings, it is unlikely that he will be in favor of any environmental legislation that appears before the court.

Other people who hate Alito include...
Alito's America

* I first of this club when I watched "Little Rascals", but their club was cute. They just didn't want to kiss girls.

Those Basketball Blues

You woulda thought that Texas beating USC and its two Heisman Trophy winners would have been enough to make me smile for at least a week. (Remember, the PAC-10 = not a real conference. Fake sports like gymnastics and golfing don't count.) But no, I'm not happy. Want to know why?

1. Stupid and dumb, why didn't you go pro last year, Dee Brown had to ruin my day. Normally, I love orange, at least as much as the next person (Go Tigers!), but not today. I mean seriously 7 3-pts? By the laws of probability and all that is holy, you should be all 3-ptered out now.
2. Ager without double digits - sad!
3. State with FG% of 35%. Unacceptable.
4. Bruce Weber and his ugly tie. Well maybe that didn't make me unhappy. At least Izzo has better taste.
5. The rest of the Spartan schedule. Up next, Wisconsin, Ohio State and Indiana. Say it ain't so

All I gotta say is State better bounce back. The conference is too killer this year for $*!#-ups. (Apparently, I was told I swear too much when watching basketball. Go figure.)