What Passes as Art These Days

This weekend I made it to three art museums (MoMA, Guggenheim, Whitney). Talk about your cultural weekends. It was a lot of fun, but it also got me to thinking. I mean what makes good art. The Guggenheim has a pretty large collection of Jackson Pollock's works. And I hate to say it, but I am not sure he developed the technique of "drip art" or whatever the heck it is that they attribute to him. Honestly, I was a master of the "drip art" technique, as a five year old when we called it, "splatter paint". I am seriously tempted to take some of my kindergarten paintings in and see if anyone will by them. And quite frankly, Jackson Pollock isn't the only painter whose works I think I could effectively reproduce (or rather have produced at one time or another). At the MoMA and Whitney, they have multiple paintings by Rothko and Neumann. Newman's contribution to the art world is a maroon canvas with vertical orange stripes. Yeah -- that's art? And to listen to the audio/critic's view of the paintings is too ridiculous. I wonder if the critics actually believe what they are saying, because it's really unclear to me what I am supposed to take a way from an all black canvas.




















Newman Jackson Pollock


And don't get me started on the vacuum cleaners. At the Whitney, the had a display case of four vacuum cleaners. And the "artist" in the audio was talking about the sexuality of vacuum cleaners and how some were masculine and some were feminine. It really freaked me out. It's like anything can pass for art. I bet if I spray painted a bike rack hot pink someone might thing it was avant garde blah blah and put it in a gallery.

But then if I am so dismissive of modern art, should I be harder on other art? Like Claude Monet. Sure I like his pictures. But what made him different from other Impressionists? Like how did he not end up being the equivalent of a street painter. Who really decides what is "good art"?

So I noticed this a lot at the Lourve and in Italy, and it really annoyed me. And now they do it at the MoMA too. Why do people have to take pictures of paintings at museums. And why the bloody hell do they use their flash? It's bad for the paintings. And they get in the way of paintings, so the rest of us can't see them, and it is thoroughly annoying. Just buy the goddamn postcards.

Oh and why do artists hate women? I mean Picasso must have had some serious mommy issues to paint women the way he did. Inevitably all modern artists seem to enjoy destroying the image of woman. Hopper's women look like men (supposedly he used his wife as a model though... ick!) and de Koonig's women look like scary, man-eating, scrawly monsters.



















Pablo Picasso William de Koonig

Desperate Times

I didn't know what to call this blog entry... "Armageddon in the Middle East", "World War III", "Oil Prices Sky High",...

I can't begin to understand what is happening in the Middle East, but here is what I think I know.

• Iran is bad people. So it's probably not fair to label all Iranians with such a broad stroke. But why do they allow such a crazy to be their president? They've had a Revolution before. I say, instead of turning Lebanon into your little sandbox of evil fun, why not take to the streets of your own country.
• Egypt and Jordan are between a rock and a hard place (a really hard place). I really don't envy Abdullah or Mubarak. They signed peace treaties with Israel, and that can't be too popular with certain elements within their country. But given the virtually complete control they have of their own countries, I am sure they'll be fine. In fact, I must say Mubarak despite his unwillingness to tolerate political dissent of any sort (which I find to be somewhat disturbing and rather Bush like) did impress me by (1) working with Abbas to negotiate the release of the Israeli soldier held in Gaza (obviously this won't be happening anymore because of... yes... Iran) and (2) calling out Hezbollah for their "adventurism". Impressive!
• What was it Teddy Roosevelt used to say? Talk softly and carry a big stick... I think it was something like that. Well I think Israel likes to talk loudly, stomp around, and carry a big stick, a huge big exploding stick. So I think Israel is perhaps overreacting a bit. But at the same time they have to flex some muscle. If they don't, they'll look weak. Then everyone will want a piece of them. And I don't mean that in a good way. So I game on... I guess...
• Poor Lebanon. Since when did their country become the chessboard of the Middle East? 15 years of Civil War and it looks like they are going to get some more. I think their President needs to toss a few members of his cabinet - democratic of not.
• You've got to be kidding me. Does Israel seriously think Lebanon can disarm Hezbollah or that the Palestinian Authority can disarm Hamas? I mean if Israel with the best American equipment money can buy can't do it, how do they expect these poor, "sovereign" states to do so? It seems some how not quite logical. But then again, when is anything in the Middle East ever?
• Iran is the big bad. This is partly our (e.g., the US (e.g., GWB)) doing. If we hadn't created a power vacuum in the Middle East by taking out the WMD-less Saddam, this might not have happened. Saddam for all his despicableness was a good counterbalance to Iran. After all why else did Rumsfeld shake his hand all those years ago? And I doubt he could have been a Hezbollah fan... they are all Shia. So to recap, we (e.g., the US (e.g., GWB)) have created a power vacuum in the Middle East, and given Iran the perfect opportunity to assert regional hegemony. After all as they know, we are so bogged down in Iraq and Afghanistan that we lack the resources to help Israel and stop the situation from turning into a complete and utter inferno.
• The Dow is down again! Even GE with its double digit growth fell almost 2% today. The only ticker symbol that went green was Exxon. Fancy that. Record high oil prices. Turmoil in the Middle East. And an oil company doing well. Shocker! What a big fat shocker. I need to go back and watch Syriana again.

Duh! Because Popcorn Explodes

The New York Times published the national assets database today. Here are the key takeaways...

• Indiana is the most valuable state in the Union. Say what? Apparently that's what the US government thinks. Indiana, the state who's favorite pastime is cow tipping, has 8,591 registered national assets. Hmmm... how convenient that it is a red state. Oops did I just imply that the government has politicized national security -- God forbid! I mean the fact that Wisconsin and Indiana both have over twice as many national assets than California is undeniable (yeah right!?! where is the Terminator when you need him).
• Basically it sounds like Indiana has been able to pull a nice little scam here... and they aren't the only ones. Did you know that New Mexico has 73% of the country's information technology assets? Yeah, I'm still scratching my head about that one...
• And how does any state have more banking assets than New York? New York only has 2% of the banking assets in the US, according to the very accurate database set up by the Department of Homeland Security. I don't even know what to say about that.

My favorite part of the New York Time's article was when the owner of a Amish Country Popcorn in Indiana was asked why he his business was in the national assets database. His response...

"I am out in the middle of nowhere. We are nothing but a bunch of Amish buggies and tractors out here. No one would care." But on second thought, he came up with an explanation: "Maybe because popcorn explodes?"

On a random side note, I am super excited that Google has decided to open an office in Ann Arbor. The plan is to hire ~1,000 people. But quite frankly at this point, even one incremental new job in Michigan is a good thing. And the best thing about these jobs is they are totally and completely unrelated to the auto industry.

If Only I had Two Dollars

Then I could have bought this bumper sticker that said "Bush is listening, use big words". But sadly I had no cash. I hope the guy is there later this week... maybe I'll collect them all...

Incidentally, it really irks me that Bush's college dropout, junior staffer person (actually I believe his offical title dog holder and pooper scooper) was accepted at Harvard Business School. So apparently Harvard does not value people having undergraduate degrees? I wonder how they explain that to the undergrads who pay $40,000+ a year for their Ivy League education... as far as I am concerned between this admission as the Harvard Extension schoo, the Harvard Corporation is full of s***. Old news I know...

Blonde Ambition

Do you want to get angry? I recommend reading Ann Coulter's new book, "Godless". I quite innocently assumed this was an autobiography, especially since her visage appears so prominently on the cover. But apparently godless is a reference to liberals -- go figure. Next time she should put Ted Kennedy on the cover.

As a liberal, "Godless" will definitely get you up in arms. But don't buy it! Just go to Barnes&Noble and read it there, scuff up the cover a little while you are at it, draw her a mustache, get creative. The woman is a viper. It's convenient how as she peers down in judgment of us all, yet conveniently forgets to disclose how she grew up in the lap of luxury. She doesn't deserve your hard earned money, considering she has never earned an honest dollar in her life. Peddling vitriol does not count, but seemingly there are some out there willing to keep her book at the top of the non-fiction list. I honestly wish Oprah would invite her on, and publicly skewer her as she did Frei for inaccuracies/lies. Ann Coulter certainly deserves some of the same treatment, but instead she gets invited to sit down with Jay Leno and answer some softball questions.

Still the woman has balls. I wonder how she survived the University of Michigan Law School which is full of godless, treasonous, slanderous liberals. And to think she had to walk the mean streets of Boston when she was trying to cover the Democratic Convention. Not only did she have to contend with the hated liberals, but she also had to deal with the "racists" and the "fascists" of Boston (her words, not mine! I am not even sure how she thought to call people in Boston fascists. Socialists perhaps. But fascists, certainly not.) Yet, to hear her talk you'd think she, not the people of Boston, was a card carrying member for the KKK. People who call Muslims "camel jockeys" and "jihad monkeys" should by no means judge others. I could probably go on and on, but it really serves no purpose. It just feeds the blonde ambition of Ann Coulter. So I will just quietly seethe and wait for her godlessness to be fully revealed.

Bad Customer Service, Ass Kissers, and Short Skirts

Live without internet is hard. Unbelievably hard. But like they say, if it doesn't kill you it only makes you stronger. And let me tell you, my feelings of dislike for RCN have only gotten stronger. Three bloody weeks. They made me wait three whole weeks before hooking up my internet. That is just unacceptable! I wish I had taped my calls with RCN customer service like that guy did with AOL. It only took him 22 minutes to reach a customer service agent and plead his case. It took me like 90 minutes. My roommate can attest to that.

So given that over three weeks have elapsed since my last post, I am not even sure where to begin. But here goes nothing...

• I finally had a chance to read "A Million Little Pieces" or whatever James Frei called his book. Quite frankly, I barely believed a word of what he wrote. I mean the basic plotline of being an alcohol-abusing, druggie -- that part I believed. But all the details of tooth pulling and the like, I mean honestly. Is Oprah that dumb? Are his publishers idiots? Apparently.


• How on earth did Honda think it was a good idea to build an auto plant in Indiana? How the heck did Michigan not get this plant? I am not sure who I think is dumber... Michigan or Honda because an argument could be made for both. By building their plant in Michigan, Honda could have gained access to a talented and experienced labor pool, courtesy of GM, at a time when the Unions all recognize the need to work together with management. At the same time Michigan could have at least have gained some jobs. It pains me to see my state being run into the gutter. And quite frankly Michigan is a smarter state that Indiana. We have better schools and aren't crazy, religious, red-staters who go cow tipping. (Ok, so maybe that was a bit harsh, but everyone I know from Indiana has been cowtipping at least once. At least in Michigan we just riot after football and basketball teams.)


• Why is John McCain kissing Bush's ass again? I hope his lips get stuck there. Let's see him try to run for President then.


• Matt Lauer have you sunk to a new low? Interviewing Britney Spears. I feel sorry for you. After the Tom Cruise interview last year, I had high hopes for you. And Brit, if you want people to take you seriously as a mother, an artist, and more importantly, as an adult. Act like one! Miniskirts and tops so low cut you could pop out at any second don't exactly inspire confidence. (PS. Neither does a husband named K.Fed)