Don't Vote for Dick the Dick

You might think I am talking about Dick Cheney, but no, there is another elephantine Dick - Dick DeVos who is running for the Governor of Michigan. Incidentally, there are a lot of Dicks, and I mean it literally, in Republican politics? I wonder why...

I figured hating Dick for his name alone is not enough. So I scouted around for evidence to prove that he is in fact a dick.

• Dick will quit again. Dick DeVos has a history of "cut and run". In 1990, he was elected to the Michigan State Board of Education. He resigned 2 years into his 8 year term. In 1996, he was appointed to the Grand Valley State University Board and again resigned before completing his term. Will he resign again once elected governor?
• Dick has questionable bedfellows and no, I do not mean his wife, although she is a crazy (see below). Dick and Betsy have personally donated money to the political campaigns of both George W and Tom DeLay, not to mention the $100,000+ they collected for the Bush-Cheney ticket to cement their standing as "Pioneers". This does not even come close to accounting for all their "charitable" giving which includes organizations like Focus on Family, which despite having great names are nothing but Christian Conservative PACs.
• Dick cannot win. When Dick DeVos was CEO of the Orlando Magic (His daddy bought the team. Feel any George W deja vu?) from 1991-1993, the Magic went 21-61 and 41-41. If elected governor will he bring his oh so stellar performance to Lansing?
• Dick doesn't believe in science. Dick DeVos has stated that he believes intelligent design should be taught in high school classes as a legitimate alternative to the Darwin's theory of evolution. Right, teaching intelligent design is a great way to diversify Michigan's economy and bring in more high-tech and bio-tech companies. (DeVos' stance is not entirely unexpected given that he has a degree from the seemingly sketchy "Northwood University" which has campuses in Florida, Texas, and Michigan, huh?)
• Dick is a crazy conservative when it comes to social issues. He does not believe in stem cell research. (Those fetuses were going to be thrown away if they weren't used by scientists.) He does not believe in abortion even in the case of rape or incest. (It really gets me when guys get to legislate what women do their bodies. Why don't mail politicans make sure rapists get their penises cut-off?) Through his foundations, Dick DeVos helped anti-gay groups lead a boycott of Ford Motor Company because of their support for gay rights. So (a) I just think that is wrong and (b) Ford is one of the biggest employers in Michigan and you are boycotting them while simultaneously complaining about lost jobs in Michigan - Hello! get a brain brainiac.
• Dick has married the MidWest version of Marie Antoinette. Just like French Queen's 'let them eat cake' lives down in infamy, Betsy DeVos has maintained that Michigan's economic woes are due to the fact that Michigan workers are overpaid. I thought governors were supposed to increase the number of jobs for workers and their real wages... apparently not...
• Dick is a job uncreator. Through his restructuring of Amway/Alticor, Dick DeVos shed nearly 1,000 Michigan jobs (that he subsequently moved to Asia) and reduced benefits by millions. From the perspective of a CEO, this was likely the right thing to do. However, as Governor of Michigan how will he be able to attract net new jobs to the state given his own track record?