Friday Night and Only YouTube for Company

It's Friday night and I am stuck at home with the sniffles and a fever. Lovely, no? But with all this free time on my hands I decided to explore the lovely world of YouTube. I gotta say I just love this website! Here are some of favorite clips...

John Stewart on Mark Foley, the blame game, and Democrats
John Stewart is a funny man! I particularly liked his story on Republican Senator Mark Foley. I had to bold the word Republican because apparently Bill O'Reilly *forgot* that Senator Mark Foley was a Republican. Also while I am on a roll with regards to Bill O'Reilly can I just say the man is totally nutters!?! He calls George Soros the "most dangerous man in America". Um, hello? What about the men in all those alleged sleeper cells that Bush/Cheney keep talking about, surely they are at least a little worse? Personally, I think O'Reilly is just jealous that Soros has more money than he does. But I digress. Watch the clip. You will laugh or your money back!

Iraq is but a comma in history
Only our great President George Bush would be foolish enough to say something like that. But if it is only a comma, then why do we need to spend $20mn to celebrate our victory there? Especially, with the "Mission not Accomplished".

This clip has great lines including, "9/11 changed everything into punctuation".

The Singhsons
Funny, although I was a little disappointed with Marge's (Marji's) hair. This one is also funny, the robber gets "cheesed".

Neither Here nor There
Other interesting discoveries while on YouTube. I can watch the entire season premiere of Smallville. Fantabulous! Bad Lex. Love it! Chlarky kiss. Awww... ever wondered why people merge TV couple's names? I don't get it. Especially when the word doesn't make sense. I mean Bennifer? At least, TomKat sort of made sense.

On the topic of TomKat, they are allegedly getting married in November. I guess by then she will have dropped the baby weight, but it is unclear that Tom Cruise will have gained any inches. Also to complete the whole creep factor, just days after he met her (1) had her car totally overhauled, apparently it was too beaten up and (2) invited her to Rome and gave her a credit card with a $100,000 limit... weird...

Also on YouTube, the entire Sept. 22nd episode of Bill Maher. It's worth watching just to listen to the crazy woman from Fox News. She is quite possibly crazier than Ann Coulter and clearly out of her league!

The Twins crashed and burned against Oakland this week. Shut out 0-3 in the series. While I am annoyed that the Twins managed to edge the Tigers (and as I result the Tigers are stuck with the Yankees), I feel for them as a MidWest team. But honestly, the Twins sucked. Big Time! And their owner looks utterly asinine, "I’d rather play the Yankees because I know we can beat them." Please! You couldn't beat Oakland, but you can beat the Yankees? Senile much?

Potpourri

Grey's Anatomy

Quite frankly, I am not sure why I even watch this show. Meredith and Derek annoy me. They are both so dirty and I hate their goo-goo eyes. Yes, yes, Addison cheated on Derek, and it was awful and bad of her, but when they decided to try again, he should have really tried. Instead, he kept undressing Meredith with his eyes. Nastiness. And I don't like his hair. I bet he uses more product than I do and that is just wrong!

Meredith reminds me an awful lot of Ally McBeal. They both have this birdy look going on. And they are both whiny (e.g., Meredith does a "poor me" every episode, even the episode in which Izzy's fiance died) and selfish (e.g., can't own up to the lost panties, sleeping with a married man, etc., etc.). Worst of all she was mean to George. Poor, clueless, socially inept George. If anyone deserves niceness it's him. Although he does seem to be awfully rude to girls who aren't Meredith. I felt bad for Callie today when he told her to move out. Is it just me, or is Callie being like twice the size of George kinda freaky?

I don't even know where to begin with the Izzy story line. They should have just kept her with Alex. They work. The whole Denny, dying patient, I love you thing made no sense at all. She stole a heart! Stole a man's life, and they are going to reinstate her? What kind of hospital is this? Remind me not to ever go there.

I like Addison. Yeah, she cheated on her husband. But at least she cheated up! Mark is hot! And he is in the previews for the next episode. I like Addison because she has red hair. Sadly, red hair does not work on Indian skin. Trust me. I tried!

Peace in the Middle East?

I have nothing to offer on this topic other than that it seems like a land far far away. Perhaps someday the story will end with "and they lived happily ever after". But that seems like a long ways away.

Republican Perverts...

Personally, I think the e-mails Foley sent to teenagers in the Page program are despicable. But it does bother me that this news story has replaced other more serious stories on the front page. Yes, Foley is a bad bad man, but at the end of the day, no one was hurt. Yes, there should be an investigation, since most of the teenagers were underage, but it isn't a front page story.

Is America obsessed with sex? The Bill/Monica episode was like a circus freak show with all the coverage it got. TomKat's sex life was grist for the entertainment magazines. It's all quite ridiculous in my opinion. How about a little less sex and a little more "is North Korea going to explode an atom bomb over Japan" or "is Iraq's US-led self-destruction complete yet" or "will the US ever balance it's budget again"? (You know it really bothers me that the government made it hard for people to file for personal bankruptcy - wonder how much in political contributions the credit card companies make - yet the government relies on China to keep it from declaring bankruptcy... hmmm... makes you wonder).

Last but not Least

Anna Nicole Smith. Gross much? I remember when she was the svelte Guess girl. I used to love Guess! And now she is a trashy, trailer-park looking, bottled blonde. She's like Marilyn Monroe on meth, crack, and heroine. She's like the "here's your brain on drugs" commercial they used to do with an egg on a skillet. Yikes!

A Chance at Redemption?

Quite frankly, I have been too better over the Notre Dame game to update my blog. I hate those bloody, f-ing, Domers. While MSU's defense was clearly on vacation, and John L. was trying to make the offense burn the clock for the entire friggin' 2nd half, I know in my heart (and in my mind) that Notre Dame cheated. And the sad thing is they used to be my 2nd favorite team. I mean what more does a girl want than a team that beats UMich every year and loses to Michigan State every year. It's like a dream come true. Except I got a nightmare this year. And now with Stanton injured things are looking more grim than usual. Still MSU may have a shot at redemption down in good old AA.

Factoids of note:

• MSU hasn't won at Ann Arbor since 1990. All winning streaks must come to an end. If Michigan can finally beat Notre Dame and Touchdown Jesus, surely Stanton can miraculously get well and save State fans.
• State has lost four in a row to Michigan. That's a dry spell if I ever heard one. And I can't remember having to go this long without a win in years!
• History suggests a loss in Ann Arbor would cause MSU to end the season with a record 4-8. Ouch! Typically, after losing to UMich, MSU takes a nose dive, and only wins one of their remaining games. If they beat UMich, they typically take 2 or 3 games, thus ending with a record of 6-6. Bowl game anyone?

So what does this all mean? If Stanton and the Spartans manage to beat UMich, I for one will be cheering. But don't expect the party to last that long. State is still plagued by the inconsistency of years past.

2005: MSU loss, 34-31 (OT) @ East Lansing
MSU was 4-0 entering the game. MSU then went 1-5 in their last six games. Talk about dismal. But this year, we have a better kicker... please no wide to the rights.

2004: MSU loss, 45-37 (3OT) @ Ann Arbor
MSU was doing just find until UMich decided to take a peice out of Stanton. bloody cheaters. MSU went 1-3 in their last four games. Ach so!

2003: MSU loss, 27-20 @ East Lansing
MSU was 7-1 entering the game, with wins over teams like Iowa and Notre Dame. But after succumbing the the vile AA-ers, went 1-3 the rest of the season. Although the sole win was an awesome spanking of Joe Pa's club.

2002: MSU loss, 49-3 @ Ann Arbor
Oh the pain. I cried that day. Oh, Smoker why did you have to start popping pills. To lose like this to a real Michigan QB is one thing, but John Navarre. Does anyone even remember who he is anymore? State ended the season going 1-2.

2001: MSU win, 26-24 @ East Lansing
Can you believe it? I hardly can. Sure the maize&blue complain about time calling nonsense. But a win is a win I say, and I'll take this one! Although, MSU won more than one game after beating down UMich, they lost to such spectacular teams as Indy-f-ing-ana. Consistency, where arth thou?

2000: MSU loss, 14-0 @ Ann Arbor
A shut-out. No way! Poor T.J. Duckett. He was robbed I tell you. Robbed. MSU ended the season 2-2.

1999: MSU win, 34-31 @ East Lansing
Plaxico what can I say. I loved you then, now if only you would score me some points for my ff team! The Tom Brady years, a boon for us State fans, who woulda thunk he would make it in the pros. MSU ended the season 4-2 with wins over Ohio State, Penn State, and Florida in the Citrus Bowl. This what MSU football was supposed to be about!

Does Notre Dame Stand a Chance?

Common logic suggests that Michigan State is doomed next week when Notre Dame comes to East Lansing. Not only does Notre Dame have bigger and arguably better players, but after such a steamrolling, they are definitely hungrier. Still my recent recollection suggests that Michigan State has been going to town on Notre Dame lately. Here are some stats on games between 1995-2005 (note: Notre Dame didn't play Michigan or Michigan State in 1995 or 1996)

positive signs

• Notre Dame is 2-7 against Michigan State
• Notre Dame's victories over Michigan State have only ever occurred when they beat Michigan the preceding weekend

negative signs

• Notre Dame is 2-2 in East Lansing

I am not sure what to make of this. Looking at the Michigan - Notre Dame trends would have show Notre Dame dominating the recent series especially at home. But use of historic data proved to be wrong in today's game. I am only hoping that similar causality holds. Since Notre Dame lost to Michigan today they *should* also lose to Michigan State.

Notre Dame Results/Scores from 1995-2005:
2005: @ Michigan W, 17-10
Michigan State L, 44-41

2004: Michigan W, 28-20
@ Michigan State W, 31-24

2003: @ Michigan L, 38-0 (I was at that game. Madness!)
Michigan State L, 22-16

2002: Michigan W, 25-23
@ Michigan State W, 21-17

2001: Michigan State L, 17-10

2000: @ Michigan State L, 27-21

1999: @ Michigan L, 26-22
Michigan State L, 23-13

1998: Michigan W, 36-20
@ Michigan State L, 45-23

1997: Michigan State L, 23-7
@ Michigan L, 21-14

Week 3 College Football: Winners and Losers

A girl can't help but love Saturdays full of non-stop football. I was a bit disappointed that the Michigan St. - Pitt game was not televised here. Apparently, watching Virginia Tech shut out Duke was far more important. Incidentally, who watches Duke football? basketball, sure I get it. But ACC football is garbage (for the most part) and Duke is the worst of the bunch.

Michigan St. - Pitt: Loved it! I admit to being nervous at first. I wish Stanton would stop throwing interceptions. But after the first half he got it together rushing for 100 yards and passing for another 200. I wish we could have seen more of Trannon. Still the win over Pitt and sustained dominance in the 2nd half in a hostile environment if State is to have a chance in hell of beating Notre Dame when they come calling next weekend.

Ohio St. - Cinnci: Ohio State had me wondering, but they pulled through. I like seeing a dominant team in the Big Ten that's not Michigan. Hopefully Tressel can remain strong against Michigan (and lose against Michigan State - yes, probability zero. But I have to dream the impossible dream).

UMich - Notre Dame: After the bliss of an Michigan State win, this game brought me back to reality. I didn't expect UMich to roll over and play dead (though I did sort of hope they would), but I certainly didn't expect to see Notre Dame fold like a house of cards. Brady Quinn had 3 interceptions. Three friggin' interceptions. He might as well just kiss his Heisman goodbye because it's as good as gone. And the entire Notre Dame offense put up 4yds rushing. 4 yards!!! Even I can do better than that. Touchdown Jesus was clearly not in the house.

LSU - Auburn: Now that Nick Saban jilted LSU (just like he ditched Michigan St), I no longer resent them like I used to. In light of all the nonsense at Auburn of late with players grades, I am inclined to pick LSU as one of my favorite SEC teams. The game was ridiculously low scoring (7-3) considering the caliber of the players, and LSU likely would have and should have won had the refs not made the asinine decision to reverse their pass interference call. Where is instant replay in college ball when you need it. Simply ridiculous!

USC vs. Nebraska: Hated it! I hate UMich with a passion even I find unbelievable. Second on my list of hated college football teams is USC and their pretty boy quarterbacks (and what is up with Reggie Bush getting free gifts???). Despite the fact that ex-Coach Osborne made me hate Nebraska and the thug-style players he supported back in the day, I would have loved to see Nebraska win. USC benefits every year from playing in a sissy conference. They need to be taken down a peg or two. Nebraska had a few moments, but they look green. Maybe next year?

Book Review: Oops I Did It Again

I read another Oprah Book Club book! (Looks like Brit did it again to and popped out another baby.)

I recently finished reading a A Fine Balance by Rohin Mistry. In fact for some bizarre reason I felt compelled to read the book (over 500pgs) in one day. Making it through class the next day was horrid. And the worst part is that I am still not sure whether or not I like the book. I liked it enough to finish it in one day. But it is still an Oprah Book Club book. A well written Oprah book, but between her branding and the bleakness of the story itself, it can be difficult to enjoy. Mistry has been compared to Dickens, however, I never felt such an overwhelming sense of injustice at the end of his books. (Well technically, I felt kind of bad for Fagin at the end of Oliver Twist. He did seem to get a raw deal.)

A Fine Balance is set in 1970s Bombay (my guess based on the significant Parsi population referred to in the book) amidst Indira & Sanjay Gandhi's Emergency. Essentially, from what I gather, Indira concerned about the withering influence of her Congress Party usurped powers belonging to states. States ruled by opposition parties were placed under federal administrative authority. When the masses rose up against her, and it was an eclectic group (e.g., students, unions workers, former freedom fighters, etc.) that did, she claimed that India was being threatened from within and declared an Emergency Proclamation. This allowed her to push through Constitutional amendments, detain individuals without cause (e.g., under suspicion of sympathizing with the opposition), censor the press, etc. Potentially, one of the most disturbing aspects of the Emergency was the forced movement and abuse of the poor as the government flattened slums and embarked on a population control policy involving "voluntary" sterilization. A quick search on the Internet popped up a link showing that Indira Gandhi won the Lenin Peace Prize. It seems like some sort of sick joke. See here for more.

A Fine Balance focuses on four main characters. Dina Dalal is a relatively young, and still beautiful Parsi widow. Like all of Mistry's characters Dina struggles to earn the money she needs to survive. For her survival means retaining her Independence from her domineering older brother who would like nothing better for her to return to her "home" and share in the household duties (i.e. become a servant). Ishvar and Om Darji are members of the Chamaar caste (leather workers). But when Ishvar's father apprentices his sons to a tailor he upsets the balance of power within the caste system of his village leading to tragic results. Ishvar and Om now homeless and destitute try to rebuild their lives with optimism (Ishvar) and opportunism (Om). Maneck Kohlah is a young, Parsi student forced by his parents, fading aristocrats who lost everything during Partition, to attend college in the city. His struggle never seemed clear to me. He comes off as a petulant boy who has lived a relatively charmed life.

Although parts of the book dwell on the tragedies each character suffered (honestly, Maneck has very few in my opinion), there is considerable hope and light. However, at some point, I can't pin-point where, you know it will not end well. There are no happy endings for anyone in this novel with perhaps the exception of the murderous hair-collector. The punishment meted out to Ishvar and Om is especially tragic in light of what they have already faced. Dina's fate while sad and not unexpected seemed typical for someone of her means and status. What was most surprising was how the story of Maneck ended. Of all the characters he had the most advantages, but he was in my opinion disgustingly self-absorbed through the entirety of the book(the exception being when he helped Dina sew the dresses) and worst of all a coward, something Ishvar, Om, and Dina never were.

This book was hard to put down, and despite the Oprah appellation I do recommend it. The characters were well developed and compelling. I really felt for them, especially Ishvar. His story is heartbreaking. However, I would take the book's overwhelming darkness with a grain of salt. The Emergency was a terrible time especially for those who did not have the means (money or brute force) to protect themselves. That being said, I find it difficult to believe that so many misfortunes could visit the same small group of people.

Losing my Love for Football?

Every year I enter at least one March Madness pool. The process from start to finish is full of angst and stress and considerable cursing. But it hasn't ruined my love for college football. However, I am concerned that my decision to try manage my Fantasy Football teams is going to destroy any interest I have (which is already limited) in the NFL.

Honestly, how much is a girl supposed to take?

Trent Green gets taken out and as a result Johnson and Kennison have particularly shitty games. Johnson who is supposed to run for over 100 yards a game. I am crying. Talk about a waste of a first round pick.

And what happened to Hasselbeck? Jesus. The superbowl MVP without a touchdown. Although in all fairness several of the *touted* QBs appear to have choked, including Palmer. Thankfully, I unlike some did not waste a 2nd round pick on him.

And the Tampa Bay defense. What was up with that? I remember them always being hard hitting, and instead they allow 21 points. 21 points. Sheesh.

I don't even want to talk about the utter and complete inadequacy of my WRs. I am definitely feeling some bitterness set in right now. And the worst part, is I can't ignore it and hope things sort themselves out (like I do with March Madness). No I actually have to actively manage my team and trade players and shit. Shit. I don't wanna.

The Mistress of Spices: Not Remotely Spicy

Last night, I watched The Mistress of Spices. The latest (and certainly not greatest) work of the director behind Bend it Like Beckham, which I enjoyed immensely. The movie fails on virtually all counts...

1. Aishwarya Rai is undoubtedly beautiful. However, in this movie she is not supposed to be beautiful. The Mistress of Spices is supposed to appear to be old, wrinkly, and rather unattractive. It's what makes the love story more compelling. But in this case, old, wrinkly, and ugly means being Aishwarya Rai. If only I was so lucky.
2. The acting was terrible. Amongst the leads, both Aishwarya Rai and Dylan McDermott appeared to be reading off of cue cards and seemed stiff. The supporting cast was not particular good either, accents were either too extreme, out of place, or temporary.
3. The special effects were by no means compelling. They were worse than those in the movie Carrie, which is at least 20 years older.
4. The scenes at the end where Aishwarya was wearing that red outfit were ridiculous. Even the divas on dynasty wouldn't have dared to put such a thing on. It isn't surprising to be at all that this movie got so little play amongst US audiences.

One thing I will say is that the settings were beautiful. I liked the way the spice store looked. The colors were amazing. Still that is not enough to make up for a tepid love story and poor acting. Do not waste your time on this movie. Ash fans are better off downloading hindi movie clips of her dancing instead.

Still Honeymooning with Michigan State Football

Football Roundup - Week 2

As a Michigan State fan there is must to be grateful at the end of this the 2nd football Sunday.

1. Drew Stanton is hot. Ok. So he isn't ridiculously hard on the eyes as far as football players go. But excluding today's interception, he's back in form. I swear I will pick him as my QB for my fantasy team next year. I mean seriously 5TDs, I bet Henne is jealous.


2. So Matt Trannon isn't really that hot. But he did pass for like 40yards today (didn't know he did that), and he caught for way more. 3TDs. I just hope he doesn't hurt himself before the basketball season starts.


3. Henne barely cracked 100 passing yards today. It's unclear to me how he plans to compete against Brady Quinn next week. Nothing would make me happier than seeing the Fighting Irish beat Michigan next week and lose to State the week after. I love it.


4. So I already waxed poetic about Stanton. But seriously, the boy can run and throw at the same time. Please please let this be the year Michigan State does something.

The rest of the Big Ten did well today too, well for the most part (excluding the ugliness in South Bend and the West Coast). I liked seeing Ohio State kick Texas' ass. I just don't like Texas. As a state, I wish they would break off and form their own country. But alas, I will just have to settle for watching them get thrashed in football.

I was rather distressed by Minnesota's inability to put Cal away. If there is a league I have no respect for it is Pac-10 football. They suck and their QBs choke. Every single one... remember Ryan Leaf, Joey Harrington (he hurts the most, ran the friggin' Lions franchise into the ground, with some help of course). If anyone can name me a keeper let me know and it better not be Jake the Snake.

It Figures

1. Right after Bill Ford resigns as CEO of Ford Motor Co., Bush tries to reschedule the meeting he was supposed to have with the Big Three (Two). Um... Mr. President, the meeting would have been useful a few months ago, heck a few years ago at that.
2. Okay. I too would love to have millions of dollars worth of jewels like Lindsay Lohan. But how the hell do you use said bag of jewels at Heathrow airport? I mean honestly girl has the hair dye gone to your head? Apparently!
3. Paris claims she is the hardest working person she knows. Maybe she means hardest partying person she knows? How else do you get caught with a DUI.

When Life Echoes Book?

I recently read the book Prep. Honestly, I thought it was terrible. But honestly, I had a hard time putting it down. My only explanation, justification, rationalization is that in some twisted way I could relate the narrator, Lee. Talk about frightening. Lee is terribly insecure, whiny, and self-absorbed. Wow. It's scary to think that I could be all of those things.

Like Lee, I left my home in the Midwest to attend and *elite* school on the East Coast. Settling in was harder than expected. Moving from corn fields and homecoming bonfires to the world of Kate Spade purses and beamers is not easy, and I did turn inwards. It took me a while to come out of my shell and reconcile who I was with where I was. But I did. The narrator never does. Although she achieved her dream, she remains bitter throughout, apparently haunted by her past life as a small town daughter of people she considers nobodies.

Like the narrator, my parents also called me a snob. That still stings. Since when does liking nice things make one a snob? Personally, I consider myself to me more of a snob than a brat. But then again that's just semantics.

While the book struck a chord with me on an emotional level, I did not like it. Perhaps because it made me see things in myself I didn't like. However, I am inclined to think it is more because of the overall vacuous characterization of the students and the narrator who never grows up and realizes its her family who should be embarrassed of her and not the other way around.

Just Pick One

What is the deal with all these artists who think they can act and sing? Given that most of them probably can't pat their head and rub their stomach at the same time, it is a good thing they rarely act and sing simultaneously. But the results are middling at best. Can anyone seriously think of a decent jLo movie? Ralph Fiennes looked like he wanted to die in 'Maid in Manhattan', and by the end of the movie I did too. (Granted, I did rather like 'Out of Sight', but I think that was more Clooney than her.)

This only comes to mind because due to sheer boredom, I am watching the MTv music awards. Jamie Fox (I am not sure if it is supposed to be one or two 'x's.) was up for best R&B video of the year. Dude, since when did the guy sing? And honestly until like a year or two ago, I never really knew he acted. I think I remember him being on 'In Living Color' though, where jLo was a 'fly girl'. Talk about hot.

I like Madonna's new song. But isn't even she a bit too old to run around in a hot pink leotard? Not sure I am loving the look for her. And should Fergie and her lumps/humps really be in that small of a dress...

Stupid Men

This letter to the editor was in the local paper and it really, *really* irritated me, so I thought I would share.

God never intended for his son to come to this world to organize women to fight sin; only to be a help-mate. He organized men to fight sin.
God did not intend for women to be on the front lines in the Army to fight and kill men.
Listen women, God never intended for you to rule over men, but men to rule over you.

This annoyed me for so any reasons. (1) Why on earth would a newspaper print such a blatantly discriminatory and bigoted point of view? (2) How does such a clearly backward point of view still exist? How does this person even function? (3) The writer quotes the Bible (Luke, Matthew, and Genesis). Do all religions have such little respect for women?

I think if Hillary or Condi run for president I will vote for them, not because I like them, but to spite people like the author of the above. Hopefully, some day soon he will get a female boss who can *rule over him*.

Burn Baby Burn

When I read this, I felt compelled to do a little investigation.

"You remember the ice age? It's been warming ever since, and there ain't nothing
we can do to stop it." - Conrad Burns (R - MT)

While Senator Burns' website indicates that he attended college for a spell, it is unclear that he ever finished. Given his above statement that is perhaps not surprising.

Apparently, Senator Burns is barely tolerated in Montana (38% approval rating, or some such absurdly low number), despite the fact that he managed to bring $2 billion in federal funds back to his state. How large are Montana's federal tax receipts? Because someone is certainly getting the "short end of the stick".

Time, a magazine of some repute (in my opinion), cited Senator Burns as one of America's 5 Worst Senators.

Senator Burns was apparently for a time in bed with Abramoff. (I don't mean that literally -- well, let me put it this way, as of yet, there is no evidence to support a literal view.)

What Passes as Art These Days

This weekend I made it to three art museums (MoMA, Guggenheim, Whitney). Talk about your cultural weekends. It was a lot of fun, but it also got me to thinking. I mean what makes good art. The Guggenheim has a pretty large collection of Jackson Pollock's works. And I hate to say it, but I am not sure he developed the technique of "drip art" or whatever the heck it is that they attribute to him. Honestly, I was a master of the "drip art" technique, as a five year old when we called it, "splatter paint". I am seriously tempted to take some of my kindergarten paintings in and see if anyone will by them. And quite frankly, Jackson Pollock isn't the only painter whose works I think I could effectively reproduce (or rather have produced at one time or another). At the MoMA and Whitney, they have multiple paintings by Rothko and Neumann. Newman's contribution to the art world is a maroon canvas with vertical orange stripes. Yeah -- that's art? And to listen to the audio/critic's view of the paintings is too ridiculous. I wonder if the critics actually believe what they are saying, because it's really unclear to me what I am supposed to take a way from an all black canvas.




















Newman Jackson Pollock


And don't get me started on the vacuum cleaners. At the Whitney, the had a display case of four vacuum cleaners. And the "artist" in the audio was talking about the sexuality of vacuum cleaners and how some were masculine and some were feminine. It really freaked me out. It's like anything can pass for art. I bet if I spray painted a bike rack hot pink someone might thing it was avant garde blah blah and put it in a gallery.

But then if I am so dismissive of modern art, should I be harder on other art? Like Claude Monet. Sure I like his pictures. But what made him different from other Impressionists? Like how did he not end up being the equivalent of a street painter. Who really decides what is "good art"?

So I noticed this a lot at the Lourve and in Italy, and it really annoyed me. And now they do it at the MoMA too. Why do people have to take pictures of paintings at museums. And why the bloody hell do they use their flash? It's bad for the paintings. And they get in the way of paintings, so the rest of us can't see them, and it is thoroughly annoying. Just buy the goddamn postcards.

Oh and why do artists hate women? I mean Picasso must have had some serious mommy issues to paint women the way he did. Inevitably all modern artists seem to enjoy destroying the image of woman. Hopper's women look like men (supposedly he used his wife as a model though... ick!) and de Koonig's women look like scary, man-eating, scrawly monsters.



















Pablo Picasso William de Koonig

Desperate Times

I didn't know what to call this blog entry... "Armageddon in the Middle East", "World War III", "Oil Prices Sky High",...

I can't begin to understand what is happening in the Middle East, but here is what I think I know.

• Iran is bad people. So it's probably not fair to label all Iranians with such a broad stroke. But why do they allow such a crazy to be their president? They've had a Revolution before. I say, instead of turning Lebanon into your little sandbox of evil fun, why not take to the streets of your own country.
• Egypt and Jordan are between a rock and a hard place (a really hard place). I really don't envy Abdullah or Mubarak. They signed peace treaties with Israel, and that can't be too popular with certain elements within their country. But given the virtually complete control they have of their own countries, I am sure they'll be fine. In fact, I must say Mubarak despite his unwillingness to tolerate political dissent of any sort (which I find to be somewhat disturbing and rather Bush like) did impress me by (1) working with Abbas to negotiate the release of the Israeli soldier held in Gaza (obviously this won't be happening anymore because of... yes... Iran) and (2) calling out Hezbollah for their "adventurism". Impressive!
• What was it Teddy Roosevelt used to say? Talk softly and carry a big stick... I think it was something like that. Well I think Israel likes to talk loudly, stomp around, and carry a big stick, a huge big exploding stick. So I think Israel is perhaps overreacting a bit. But at the same time they have to flex some muscle. If they don't, they'll look weak. Then everyone will want a piece of them. And I don't mean that in a good way. So I game on... I guess...
• Poor Lebanon. Since when did their country become the chessboard of the Middle East? 15 years of Civil War and it looks like they are going to get some more. I think their President needs to toss a few members of his cabinet - democratic of not.
• You've got to be kidding me. Does Israel seriously think Lebanon can disarm Hezbollah or that the Palestinian Authority can disarm Hamas? I mean if Israel with the best American equipment money can buy can't do it, how do they expect these poor, "sovereign" states to do so? It seems some how not quite logical. But then again, when is anything in the Middle East ever?
• Iran is the big bad. This is partly our (e.g., the US (e.g., GWB)) doing. If we hadn't created a power vacuum in the Middle East by taking out the WMD-less Saddam, this might not have happened. Saddam for all his despicableness was a good counterbalance to Iran. After all why else did Rumsfeld shake his hand all those years ago? And I doubt he could have been a Hezbollah fan... they are all Shia. So to recap, we (e.g., the US (e.g., GWB)) have created a power vacuum in the Middle East, and given Iran the perfect opportunity to assert regional hegemony. After all as they know, we are so bogged down in Iraq and Afghanistan that we lack the resources to help Israel and stop the situation from turning into a complete and utter inferno.
• The Dow is down again! Even GE with its double digit growth fell almost 2% today. The only ticker symbol that went green was Exxon. Fancy that. Record high oil prices. Turmoil in the Middle East. And an oil company doing well. Shocker! What a big fat shocker. I need to go back and watch Syriana again.

Duh! Because Popcorn Explodes

The New York Times published the national assets database today. Here are the key takeaways...

• Indiana is the most valuable state in the Union. Say what? Apparently that's what the US government thinks. Indiana, the state who's favorite pastime is cow tipping, has 8,591 registered national assets. Hmmm... how convenient that it is a red state. Oops did I just imply that the government has politicized national security -- God forbid! I mean the fact that Wisconsin and Indiana both have over twice as many national assets than California is undeniable (yeah right!?! where is the Terminator when you need him).
• Basically it sounds like Indiana has been able to pull a nice little scam here... and they aren't the only ones. Did you know that New Mexico has 73% of the country's information technology assets? Yeah, I'm still scratching my head about that one...
• And how does any state have more banking assets than New York? New York only has 2% of the banking assets in the US, according to the very accurate database set up by the Department of Homeland Security. I don't even know what to say about that.

My favorite part of the New York Time's article was when the owner of a Amish Country Popcorn in Indiana was asked why he his business was in the national assets database. His response...

"I am out in the middle of nowhere. We are nothing but a bunch of Amish buggies and tractors out here. No one would care." But on second thought, he came up with an explanation: "Maybe because popcorn explodes?"

On a random side note, I am super excited that Google has decided to open an office in Ann Arbor. The plan is to hire ~1,000 people. But quite frankly at this point, even one incremental new job in Michigan is a good thing. And the best thing about these jobs is they are totally and completely unrelated to the auto industry.

If Only I had Two Dollars

Then I could have bought this bumper sticker that said "Bush is listening, use big words". But sadly I had no cash. I hope the guy is there later this week... maybe I'll collect them all...

Incidentally, it really irks me that Bush's college dropout, junior staffer person (actually I believe his offical title dog holder and pooper scooper) was accepted at Harvard Business School. So apparently Harvard does not value people having undergraduate degrees? I wonder how they explain that to the undergrads who pay $40,000+ a year for their Ivy League education... as far as I am concerned between this admission as the Harvard Extension schoo, the Harvard Corporation is full of s***. Old news I know...

Blonde Ambition

Do you want to get angry? I recommend reading Ann Coulter's new book, "Godless". I quite innocently assumed this was an autobiography, especially since her visage appears so prominently on the cover. But apparently godless is a reference to liberals -- go figure. Next time she should put Ted Kennedy on the cover.

As a liberal, "Godless" will definitely get you up in arms. But don't buy it! Just go to Barnes&Noble and read it there, scuff up the cover a little while you are at it, draw her a mustache, get creative. The woman is a viper. It's convenient how as she peers down in judgment of us all, yet conveniently forgets to disclose how she grew up in the lap of luxury. She doesn't deserve your hard earned money, considering she has never earned an honest dollar in her life. Peddling vitriol does not count, but seemingly there are some out there willing to keep her book at the top of the non-fiction list. I honestly wish Oprah would invite her on, and publicly skewer her as she did Frei for inaccuracies/lies. Ann Coulter certainly deserves some of the same treatment, but instead she gets invited to sit down with Jay Leno and answer some softball questions.

Still the woman has balls. I wonder how she survived the University of Michigan Law School which is full of godless, treasonous, slanderous liberals. And to think she had to walk the mean streets of Boston when she was trying to cover the Democratic Convention. Not only did she have to contend with the hated liberals, but she also had to deal with the "racists" and the "fascists" of Boston (her words, not mine! I am not even sure how she thought to call people in Boston fascists. Socialists perhaps. But fascists, certainly not.) Yet, to hear her talk you'd think she, not the people of Boston, was a card carrying member for the KKK. People who call Muslims "camel jockeys" and "jihad monkeys" should by no means judge others. I could probably go on and on, but it really serves no purpose. It just feeds the blonde ambition of Ann Coulter. So I will just quietly seethe and wait for her godlessness to be fully revealed.

Bad Customer Service, Ass Kissers, and Short Skirts

Live without internet is hard. Unbelievably hard. But like they say, if it doesn't kill you it only makes you stronger. And let me tell you, my feelings of dislike for RCN have only gotten stronger. Three bloody weeks. They made me wait three whole weeks before hooking up my internet. That is just unacceptable! I wish I had taped my calls with RCN customer service like that guy did with AOL. It only took him 22 minutes to reach a customer service agent and plead his case. It took me like 90 minutes. My roommate can attest to that.

So given that over three weeks have elapsed since my last post, I am not even sure where to begin. But here goes nothing...

• I finally had a chance to read "A Million Little Pieces" or whatever James Frei called his book. Quite frankly, I barely believed a word of what he wrote. I mean the basic plotline of being an alcohol-abusing, druggie -- that part I believed. But all the details of tooth pulling and the like, I mean honestly. Is Oprah that dumb? Are his publishers idiots? Apparently.


• How on earth did Honda think it was a good idea to build an auto plant in Indiana? How the heck did Michigan not get this plant? I am not sure who I think is dumber... Michigan or Honda because an argument could be made for both. By building their plant in Michigan, Honda could have gained access to a talented and experienced labor pool, courtesy of GM, at a time when the Unions all recognize the need to work together with management. At the same time Michigan could have at least have gained some jobs. It pains me to see my state being run into the gutter. And quite frankly Michigan is a smarter state that Indiana. We have better schools and aren't crazy, religious, red-staters who go cow tipping. (Ok, so maybe that was a bit harsh, but everyone I know from Indiana has been cowtipping at least once. At least in Michigan we just riot after football and basketball teams.)


• Why is John McCain kissing Bush's ass again? I hope his lips get stuck there. Let's see him try to run for President then.


• Matt Lauer have you sunk to a new low? Interviewing Britney Spears. I feel sorry for you. After the Tom Cruise interview last year, I had high hopes for you. And Brit, if you want people to take you seriously as a mother, an artist, and more importantly, as an adult. Act like one! Miniskirts and tops so low cut you could pop out at any second don't exactly inspire confidence. (PS. Neither does a husband named K.Fed)